At the end of a rainbow - Earl Grant HD]

Deep Breath and Sighs

 My father was a smart man and he gave me the foundation in which I based all of adult life. He was a man of many words and he once said " It is not bad to make a mistake as long as you learn from it and not repeat the same mistake. " I must admit I made my share of mistakes and it took longer to learn from some more than others. I know I've aged when I start repeating some of things he said. " Leopard never changes it's spots." " there is more than one way to skin a cat" " Barking up the wrong tree" " turning a blind eye" they are a few of the many things he quoted as I was growing up. 

Mistakes I sure have made some big ones. But in reality or at the time I made excuses for my choices. I have yet to stop learning. I have met a lot of people in my lifetime and one thing is true, everyone has at least one good story. Our stories might differ but the emotions that tie us together are the same. Love, heartache, disappointed are just a few of the emotions that we share in life. 

I woke up in this dream last night. My mother who had passed sometime ago was there with me.  It started out here in the rural area where I live but somehow switched to walking the streets of the city with her. As we talked she shared her disappointment and in that conversation I related as I now experience some of the same issues. Choices and consequences which lead to disappointments  reveals itself often in this journey called life. I try to dwell on the positive but the negative has a way of squeezing it self through the cracks of the door. Dreams are a mix up time and place. I had this dream f you. It was so clear as if it actually. It wasn't like extraordinary in the sense that we just sitting their having a conversation. It brought a sense of peace to me. 

I have learned a lot throughout the years and I find that I am more capable of tripping over those mistakes in my steps to avoid making the same ones over again. One thing is certain is that we are only responsible for our own actions, 

The sun upon rising brings with it a new day,

what in life awaits me in these final chapters of life?

"Don't fall there is no one there to catch you. " Ouch don't I know it

"Don't cry over spilled milk."  I filled my share of buckets. 

"You made you bed now lie in it" Don't I know it.

Loving you has been one of the high lights of my life. 

I have been in my head a little to much lately. 

On the Mend

 I couldn't speak and I couldn't breathe, 

I slightly trembled falling to my knees, 

Is this the beginning or is this the end,

or maybe a path that is on the mend?

I screamed in silence with no response,

as if the heart was always the pawn,

Easily touched and easily used 

bordering on the abused. 

Had I been here before?

I questioned "what is more?"

couldn't move, couldn't feel, 

this path now meant to heal. 

When Tears Fall

 I felt your love as it took a hold,

and in the night the whispers told,

once where only silence dwelled

the whispers of love cast a spell. 

The stars bright in the cloudless sky

cast a sweet vision of you and I, 

as if my heart dictates the move

the dance charmed from the heavens blue.

Your memory haunts my soul, 

reminder of days of ole, 

where love possibilities reveal, 

that the heart never truly heals.

~

Souls entwined as one,

connected by distant love,

I couldn't breathe as the tears fell, 

I am certain this was my earthly hell.

I tried to change this path called life,

to rid the wrongs and dust with right.

to wash away the chapter of hell,

with tears that I had within held. 

Like rivers wide and rivers deep,

each tear drop cast a memory, 

I couldn't bear to let you go, 

as if your love was on loan. 

~

I still sense your love at night,

giving meaning to this life, 

Your name still lingers in the air,

Like perfume lost, yet always there.

less is spoken and more is said 

of a love story without an end. 

When tears fall and the heart aches,

I relive what time takes, 

days where laughter filled the room 

and where sweet love between two looms/

Your laugh, a tide that pulls me near,

Early morning thoughts..

 The world is perfect and amazing, 

people not so much. 

~

To love is to live, 

or is it to live is to love?

~

I don't cry at what happened 

but what has yet to happen.

~

To think I learned all there is to know 

is to no longer live. 

~

Everyday is one step closer to the inevitable, 

therefore it's good to know I have loved and

have been loved.. 

Paint Has Yet To Dry

I held on to the yesterdays, 

as if it could you bring here. 

No tears or heartache 

only my heart to share. 

Watching a movie

and I began to cry,

did I relate or was it

just about time?

I couldn't control it, 

I thought I could hold on, 

and keep you with me 

like a repeat of a song.

I tried and I tried

didn't want to let go, 

but in the end 

I am here all alone. 

Mistakes were made

choices but a few, 

but I would change them all

if I could be there with you.

Can't hold back the tears

they cleanse the years gone by,

today like a new canvas

where the paint has yet to dry.

Recording of Time

 Just to kiss you good night

would bring the magic to life. 

If only dreams would come true, 

I would be there loving you.

It's a hot summer day and 

I wanted to sleep it away, 

just to dream once more

to see what the heavens 

have in store. 

I think you've drifted away like

the clouds as they finish the rain,

but the sunshine comes thru 

as it reminds me of you. 

There is salmon smoking on the grill

and the air is unusually still, 

as I prepare for dinner time

and pour a glass of wine.

Perfect would be the day

if I shared with you in a way,

the simple pleasures of life

that would make it all seem right.

Can't fight the feelings I have

sometimes happy and sad, 

as if you were close to me 

and disappeared as I wake

from a dream.. 

There's no hello or goodbye, 

just the recording of time.

Life keeps moving on 

like replaying a song.

I reached out to the blue

to try and feel for you,

to bring you close to me

like the haunting of a memory.

Just a page out of a lifetime

 I didn't recognize the words of long ago, 

somewhere in the soul the writing played.

It was a chapter and a few pages turned, 

lessons of life that only heartache learned.

To you merrily a moment in time, 

to me it redirected my entire life. 

The path traveled only by me 

and now stored deep within my memories.

Tears that can't be defined, 

love lost and memories entwined.

a road that seem to circle back 

to the wall that blocked my path.

I thought I could no longer feel 

but you are inside me still, 

weep for what won't be 

for all that is left is simple dreams.

There in the dark of night, 

I lay there and close my eyes. 

Once more I find you there 

waiting in my dreams.